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Pages: Poll: Based on looks alone [1]
Author Topic: Poll: Based on looks alone

Hero Member
Posts: 3

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2011-01-30 5-38-43-

Poll: Based on looks alone Do you "pass" for straight, or do you think people can tell you're gay just by looking at you? What does it mean to you to "pass" or "look gay"? I can pass, and frequently do. Unless my gf and I are out together and holding hands or something along those lines, I'm sure most people don't think twice about it. I'm not sure how I feel about that. On hand, it makes me want to look different than I do. I'm not sure what that look would be. On the other hand, why should I have to look gay? I am gay, and how I look doesn't really make a difference way or the other. Then again, maybe I'd like my looks to make more of statement about who I am than they do. As you can see, I go back and forth on it.
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Sr. Member
Posts: 5

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2011-01-31 3-14-12-

Always straight and means get hit on by wrong sex plenty which equals me snapping at guys often
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Posts: 13

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2011-01-31 14-17-06

it depends on who is looking some straight co-workers have figured it out immediately, others have known me for years and have no idea. Other lesbians can almost always tell. I think some people don't see what they don't want to know.
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  • cuesta

    Hero Member
    Posts: 4

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    2011-01-31 17-52-07

    Straight people have no clue but anyone with an ounce of gaydar can pick me out in a crowd. I have to play girl at work but I'm a total tomboy. I can't cook anything that requires more than a microwave but I keep a mean, clean house and I can rebuild a car from the ground up. You'd never know that by looking at me though.
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    Posts: 7

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    2011-02-01 0-14-08-

    Everyone seems to know I am gay Any time I've tried to come out to someone, they look at me like "duh." (Except my Mom and Dad - but I think they did know, just didn't want to.) I am just super really gay, I guess. I don't get mistaken for a guy as much as I used to, though.
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    Posts: 4

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    2011-02-01 15-45-58

    You're supergay? I thought this was:
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  • stevena

    Full Member
    Posts: 7

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    2011-02-01 17-30-57

    oh. my. god. he is my hero. thats the first giggle i have had all day.
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  • vierling

    Posts: 7

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    2011-02-02 22-29-48

    WOW. I stand corrected. THAT is Super Gay!
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    2011-02-04 6-10-32-

    you rock, silliness!
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    Hero Member
    Posts: 17

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    2011-02-21 4-32-26-

    when i first moved to cowtown a fellow classmate said to me, only hours after meeting me and hearing me talk about my girlfriend, "wow, you just dont really give off a lesbian vibe". she had been surprised to discover that i was gay. that night i went home and cried because her comment solidified my fears that i had moved to a tiny ingnorant cowtown. i think it would be safe to say that i was (cliniy) depressed for the first few months i started school up here. while i do know what you mean, since there are times when i wish that i "looked more gay" if only to be a magnet for the other queers in this town, but i cant be any other way than i am. I am a femme, through and through. so, yes, sometimes i feel like dont set off the gaydar. (tho i have had some folks tell me they knew right away) for me personally, i miss my pink hair and my leather pants, because i enjoy dressing like a spaz. so i guess in that way i used to make a statement with my looks, but it never had anything to do with my orientation. i have sacrificed that part of me to do what i love for a living. i guess i dont feel like i could 'pass' for straight because i never hide my orientation. and even if people cant tell immediately that i am a homo, they usually can tell i am a weirdo, and thats good enough for me.
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  • Toby

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    2011-05-06 12-19-54

    sad in cowtown i am not super butch, more andro or soft butch, but i'm pretty obviously gay to anybody with half a brain cell. so... Feisty, I'm with you. i just moved to a "cowtown" from to pacific northwest and i'm getting worried about how i will be judged because i'm so visible, don't blend. this place is so straight and conservative. i am so worried and hoping i can ease my way in and live comfortably but am doubtful.
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    Sr. Member
    Posts: 15

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    2011-10-17 13-57-23

    dont be a sadcow the thing about small(ish) towns is that there are usually gems scattered about, its just a matter of discovering them. i have found that the more i just hang out and do my thing, i find more quirky fun things about this place. and there are always little nooks of gay-friendliness. sometimes its enough to give 'the nod' to the random dyke i see shopping at the local co-op. it aint much, but it has to be enough. which is not to say that i dont get lonely and miss my friends in the Gay Area at times. i do miss living in a place where "anything goes." i think it may be different for me, for i will be a transient resident to cowtown, CA. what made you move to small town, sadcow? maybe remembering those reasons will help. all i know is that when i get fed up and lonely here, like right now, i fantasize about moving someplace fabulous as soon as i am done with school.
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  • lombard

    Posts: 41

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    2012-05-17 20-41-57

    thanks feisty you're right, there's a reason why i'm here in cowtown in the first place (work x year contract) and there are always good people to be found. i might just have to work a little harder in my new hood, than open up my door and puttoe outside. and hey, that'sthing that the old internet can be good for. (shudder?!) thanks.
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    Posts: 50

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    2013-03-10 14-44-23

    i finally got a chance to chat with a visibly genderqueer person at my work, about issues of queerness in our workplace. within just a few minutes of chatting, she said, "oh, but you can pass - this doesn't really apply to you." um, yeah. x years i'd been wishing for the chance to strike up a convo with this idiot. my point? i don't really have one, i guess - just commiserating :-) p.s. i don't even look like a weirdo! you have to get to know me to see that i'm a total freak ;-P
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  • vanscoyoc

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    2014-01-06 19-09-21

    It's been said... ...that normal people are only people you don't know very well. ;-( Still, bummer about their response. Phooey on them. And yay for you for taking the initiative anyway. I know I'm glad you did way back when, and my life is richer for having you in it. x-)
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    Sr. Member
    Posts: 39

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    2015-01-02 8-37-14-

    Every now and then a man usually from the caribbean hits on me, and I giggle like a school girl turn all red and run away. So I guess to the men of the islands I look straight. I have never tried to pass as straight. I am growing my hair so maybe... no I am sure I will still look butch.
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  • Erich

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    2015-09-22 2-28-07-

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